Nervous for final presentation

Yesterday I had a meeting with my master coordinator, and boy what a relieve that was! She’s totally on my side, and I quote “very disappointed with my supervisor”. I’m so glad to finally have someone on my side who can actually do something for me. She said she’s going to contact him after I get my grade, and if that grade is disappointing also talk to him about that. I’m so glad I went to talk to her. My lab supervisor was right to push me into going, it was so worth it. A weight lifted off my shoulders. And to thank my lab supervisor for all his great support I went by the lab yesterday with a cake. With his name on it and some Sanger sequences. He was so surprised! After all he has done for me, and the great support he has been in this mess with my supervisor I wanted him to know how much I appreciate him. Also, I had a meeting with a possible thesis internship last Monday, which went quite good. It’s a whole new subject for me about minor histocompatibility antigens and graft versus  host disease, so I was a little intimidated at first. But the guy was really nice, and he told me if I wanted the internship he would like to have me. So that’s another positive thing. All I have to do now is make through until Friday and finish my final presentation. I'm soooo nervous! Fingers crossed and “focus on infinity”? We say “blik op oneindig” but I have no idea how to translate it! :P

With love,

Willemijn

p.s. I passed my course! Woohoo! Unfortunately, two of my good friends didn’t, so that sucks… Maybe we had a little too much fun in the sun…

Plates done, me done

Pfff, I’m finished. I can’t believe I actually finished those plates in only four days. I worked my ass off, and now I’m completely finished. And amazingly tired. This whole week has been one big energy drain. Especially the conversion with my supervisor sucked the life out of me. I had been dreading the conversion the entire day, and it was even more disappointing than expected. He just doesn’t care. With every word he said it dawned on me even more that he just doesn’t give a shit about me. It’s all about him. You’re nothing to him, just a speck in his existence. And to top things off, he suddenly pulled out  a list of changes for my research report. While I already handed in my final report. So now I still can’t start working on my presentation, first I have to correct his changes (which I hope to finish today). He also rescheduled my presentation to next Thursday (the third time in three days!). But when I asked him who would be present he didn’t have a clue. So there’s a big chance no one will be attending. I just can’t believe how he completely ruined these two final weeks. Unbelievable. No cake for you mister!

With love

Shit hitting the fan

Omg… just omg. I can’t believe what has happened in the past two days. Yesterday morning I had a meeting with my daily supervisor to talk about my last two weeks as an intern. We had previously discussed how I would do a final preparation for two methylation plates. IF there was time. I had agreed to do it, IF there was enough time. As you may have read in my previous post I was quite surprised when she emailed me during my course. I hadn’t heard about the plates for a while, so I thought it wasn’t going to happen anymore. So I told her in the meeting that I didn’t have the time, it being all last minute. And BAM! 30 minutes later I get an email from my (head) supervisor, that if I don’t make those plates they won’t let me graduate (aka won’t give me a grade). What the hell?! I was completely surprised, shocked, overwhelmed, you name it! He just threatened me with falling my internship! And he told me I won’t be doing my final presentation this Thursday, but somewhere next week. Huh?! As you can imagine I was totally shocked, lost and shaking (I cried on the phone with my mum, it doesn’t get any more pathetic than that). I’ve never had an email that made me feel so threatened. So I contacted my parents and some people at the lab on what to do. But there really isn’t much I can do. I’m back at the lab, started yesterday by collecting the samples and today started taking samples from the stock. I asked my daily supervisor to help (which she had promised before, remember!!) but of course she was ‘busy’, so she sent another intern with 0.0000% lab experience. So I have to check her work tomorrow, because something’s aren’t right. It’s not her fault thought, she just got dragged into this mess. This isn’t even part of her job. I also made an appointment with my master coordinator, who was kind enough to schedule an appointment for next week from her holiday location. God, I love her right now. And, here is comes, I asked my (head) supervisor if we could discuss the matter tomorrow. He first tried to get out of it by suggesting a phone conversation, but that’s not going to happen now. I’m just totally appalled by his reaction. He’s a psychiatrist for God’s sake! What happened to communication?! And what did my daily supervisor say to him that made him blow up this way? Luckily, my lab supervisor, family, friends, and basically everyone I speak to convince me that it’s not my fault, and that he is totally out of line. You can’t threaten to let someone fail on a miserable little job, while the actual research report is already handed in (last Friday btw). It just feels like 9 months of hard work went down the drain. I was so sick of it, I didn’t sleep at all last night. I was looking forward to make these last two weeks relaxing and fun, but they’re full of frustration now. I just gotta suck up for another 8 days. And survive tomorrow. God, you have no idea how scared I am for tomorrow.

With love

2 more weeks!

Only two more weeks and then I'm done! Ah, the sweet summer holiday is calling my name. I’m just hoping it will go by smoothly, since I’ve had a little rumble with my daily supervisor… But hey, I can’t help if she doesn’t keep her end of the bargain. And there’s no way I’m going back into the lab all on my own. That was not part of the deal. It sort of makes me wonder if she ever had the intension of helping me… Like her plan was to let me do it on my own all along. The way she ambushed me in the middle of my course, while all I wanted to do was focus on the 2 research proposal, presentations, article review and exam (little rant here)! But whatever, I’m just going to focus on my final presentation (nervous already!) on Thursday. And of course I’m treating my lab supervisor and fellow students on some cake! Especially my lab supervisor deserves a super huge thank you cake, he’s been such a great help and support. Sometimes I feel he was more of a support than my actual supervisors. He really deserves a little more appreciations for all the work he’s doing. And what says appreciations more than a cake! :D  Please don't say two cakes, I can't afford it.
Also, I finally got an email back from the administration about my application for two courses (after 3 weeks, yay)! I'm registered for at least one, the other I will hear in July. So fingers crossed! And and and! I got an invitation for a thesis place! The first one that emailed back after 4 weeks and emailing 3 different people... So all in all I can’t complain. But hey, us Dutchies are known for our bitching and ranting ability. We always have to whine and complain before getting to the good and happy stuff. We call it "zeuren". But I'm sure you know that by now :P Or is that just a thing all females do in general?

With love and a happy weekend to you all!

p.s. Before I forget: Happy Fathers Day! What did you get your dad? I bought him a DVD of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. Happy as a child! :)

Almost there

In Dutch we have a sort of expression that says “de laatste loodjes zijn het zwaarst”, which I think translates to something of “the last steps are the hardest” (but you can correct me on that one). And now I really know (and feel) the meaning of those words. Every time when I think I’m done with my research report I start doubting and questioning the statistics, and wonder whether my conclusions aren’t completely preposterous. So I change them again, have an endless discussion with my supervisor (or my dad), and change it back again. And then it starts all over again. Its driving me nuts! So right now I think I may be done, but it might change in a couple of minutes. Fortunately, I have the course to take my mind of the report a bit. I’m actually quite enjoying the courses, since I’m hanging out with two friends I haven’t seen in a while, and another girl who is just a ball of energy. She’s actually studying to be a vet, so she brings a nice new view to the projects we’re working on. Only downside is that we have to create two research proposals and make an exam, in only two weeks. Which we sometimes tend to forget a little with conversation, pointless jokes and incredible sunshine outside. The weather is just awesome! Too bad for the awful timing. But on the bright side its only 5 more weeks until I’m flying off to Lisbon! I’m just trying to focus on the holiday, so my mind won’t get stuck on the dreadful task that still lies ahead: the final presentation.. Ugh, and I’m still not registered for those course! When I called the administration, I had the most confusing conversation with the person at the other end, who was apparently abroad. As it turned out, this “person” was the not only the coordinator of the course, but also the master. Oops. So now I have to write a motivation and send in my course list to apply. Something I’ve never had to do before to apply for a course. Something tells me this is not going to end well…

p.s. If you haven’t seen the Great Gatsby you have to go and see it! I command you! Really, it’s awesome, you don’t know what you’re missing. If only it had a happy ending. I would have loved to see them fade out into a sunset or something and leave the evil guy all alone and ruined. I’m just a sucker for happy endings ;) Watch the trailer here!